Lunch Time

I think this means Lizzy wants me to join her for lunch at 11:53 :)

"Is Santa Jewish?"

It must be fun to be a first grade teacher.

I can't imagine the things they know about our families, and the questions they get. 

Lizzy's teacher got a new question yesterday. 

Here's the email I got from her:

Lizzy asked today, “Is Santa Jewish?”  Oh my gosh!!!!!  So funny!  I was explaining Hanukkah to the class today and I read a couple books…she swears she has a book at home that says that Hanukkah is Jewish!  Kaia

I couldn't figure out where that questions came from, until I found Lizzy frantically paging through a book we had read the night before.

Me: "What are you doing?"

Lizzy: "I know it's in here. Mrs. Hart told me to look it up."

Me: "Look what up?"

Lizzy: "I told her we have a book that says Santa is Jewish. I just have to find it."

That's when it hit me.

We had read that book the night before, and at one point Santa says "Jolly good." I jokingly said "Santa must be British."

Lizzy heard "Santa must be JEWISH!"

PS: the book is "Santa Claus is coming to North Dakota"… kinda cute (I found it at Walmart).

"Wear Me!"

I helped Lizzy pick out her clothes this morning, then left her to get dressed while I made breakfast (and by "made breakfast" I mean poured cereal into bowls). She was taking a very long time to get dressed, and I was getting frustrated.

Me: "Lizzy! Come on! Hurry up!"
Lizzy, running into the kitchen: "Sorry. I was ready and then this skirt was just yelling 'wear me' so I had to change my outfit!"

Little House on the Prairie

Lizzy has discovered Little House on the Prairie -- her teacher has been reading the books in class and last night I dug out a Little House on the Prairie DVD.

Me, as Lizzy watched the DVD: "Do you like it?"
Lizzy: "Yes! I can't take my eyes off of it!"

Equal

Lizzy, as we dropped Jake off at school: "Jake is going to look like a jerk because he didn't wear pajamas on pajama day."

Me, in a joking voice (I promise, I was joking!): "Well Jake's a jerk."

Lizzy: "Yeah. That's true. So I guess it's equal."

Almost 50

Lizzy: "Mary forgot to sign my homework. I read to her, but she didn't sign it."
Mom: "Oops. Did you get in trouble?"
Lizzy: "Nope. I told Mrs. Hart I read to my great aunt and she forgot to sign it. I told Mrs. Hart that Mary is almost 50 years old, and she said that explains it."

Maybe.. no

Me: "Hey, look at this.. you can take your candy to the dentist and get money. Do you want to do that?"
Lizzy: "Um, maybe… no. Why would I walk all those miles just to give my candy away?"

Special Breakfast

We had some extra time this morning, so I made pancakes for Lizzy (usually she eats toast while running out the door!)

Lizzy, as she enjoyed her second pancake: "This doesn't even feel like a school day. I'm sitting down for breakfast. Are you sure I have school today?"

Future Day

Instead of celebrating Halloween at Lizzy's school, they have "future day".. yet another new thing we get to experience this year! So basically instead of wearing their Halloween costumes (which can be scary and inappropriate) kids dress up like what they want to be in the future. Some ideas that were suggested: principal, doctor, teacher, baseball player.

Lizzy thought long and hard about what to be and finally settled on a waitress. 

Big dreams (hey... I made some of the best money I've ever made when I waited tables in college!).

So I made her an apron and some Perkins notebooks. Lizzy made a tray full of food (taped onto a round cookie sheet -- totally her idea!). Then we went to Perkins to see if we could get any extra props. 

Lizzy: "Hi. My name is Lizzy. We're having future day at my school tomorrow and I want to be a waitress in the future so I was wondering if you had a tray or a name tag I could buy for my costume."

How could you resist that?!?! The manager was so sweet. She gave Lizzy two menus, a Perkins t-shirt, and even made her a real name tag!

I thanked her and said she'd be back in ten years for a job. The manager said, in a very serious voice, "she's hired!"

It is good to be Lizzy!

"Welcome to Perkins! My name is Lizzy and I'll be your waitress!"

Morgan is in training.

Authentic menus!

A good waitress is always prepared - Lizzy has
a pocket full of pens and straws!

Ready to take your order!

Lizzy's special!

The Flower

As promised, here's the book Lizzy wrote yesterday... 
Love her spelling!

The Flower -- by Lizzy

One day a seed fell from the sky. As days past, the little seed grew bigger
and bigger. It grew bigger until....

It was bigger than a skyscraper.
But when it was winter, the flower died.

The End.

She is currently working on her second book... titled "The BB Gun" and has decided she only wants to be a writer, not an illustrator :)

Lizzy-isms are now on Facebook!

A few months ago I asked you, Lizzy's followers, about starting a Facebook page. The response was great --- my little girl sure knows how to weasel her way into people's hearts :)

I debated for months, and tonight I finally decided to publish her Facebook page. You can find it here: facebook.com/Lizzyisms

It's not meant to replace this blog.. the blog will stay, because it's my running history of Miss Lizzy's funniest moment and someday it will be my guide as I write her biography :) The Facebook page is intended to enhance this page and to help me share her funnies faster (let's face it, updating a Facebook page is waaay easier to do on a cell phone than updating a blog... or is that just me?!?)

So "like" Lizzy-isms on Facebook, but keep checking this page too! There are plenty of Lizzy-isms to go around!

Picture Day

Me, after school when I realized today was picture day: "Did you have pictures today?"
Lizzy: "Yep. Why did you think I wore such a nice shirt?" (by "nice shirt" she means the top to her last year's Halloween costume).
Me: "Did you even comb your hair today?"
Lizzy: "Yep. It looked good. It was curly. Ok, not really curly. It was actually snarly, but I just pretended the snarls were curls."

Brad's Daughter

Lizzy, after a very inappropriate burp, followed by a very inappropriate fart at the supper table: "Oh, excuse me. I am definitely Brad's daughter. I burp and fart just like him."

In the Wild

Lizzy, as we were driving back to Bismarck from the farm: "I wish my grandparents lived in Bismarck."
Me: "That would be nice, but if they lived in Bismarck they wouldn't have farms for us to visit."
Lizzy: "True, and they couldn't have all those cats."
Me: "True."
Lizzy: "Well, maybe they could if they lived in the wild part of town."

Loose Tooth

Every mom has her limits. My limits are teeth and toenails.


They gross me out. 

But I'm about to suck it up and pull Lizzy's tooth, even though it's totally disgusting.

Normally I'd make Brad or Lizzy's teacher pull it, but Brad is gone and school is out until Tuesday. Meantime, her tooth is hanging by a thread.

I posted a picture on Facebook and Instagram, looking for suggestions to get the tooth out. Lots of great ideas, but as I read them to Lizzy and encouraged her to try them, I realized it's never going to happen.

Lizzy: "No way. This is way to serious to be messing around with tricks."

Big Sister Blues

For some reason, Lizzy is just now wishing she didn't have a baby sister.
She talked about Morgan a lot today, and even asked me why we even had her.
The latest conversation:

Lizzy: "Can't you just give her back?
Me: "No! She's almost four years old. I think the return policy has expired."
Lizzy: "Shoot. That just ruined my day!"

A Lizzy Day

Today, I had a rare, and much needed, Lizzy-Day.

We went to the parade,

swimming lessons, 

out for lunch, 

and to the playground at Moses.

This was our conversation as we left the restaurant:

Me: "That was nice. We'll have to do it again."
Lizzy: "Yeah. Like maybe in six years."

I'm not sure if that meant she didn't enjoy it and doesn't want to spend another day with me for six years, or if she just thinks it will be that long until it's just the two of us again.....

"Ready to BLOW!"

Lizzy, waiting for the Keriug to warm up so she could make a cup of hot chocolate: "It's ready to blow!"

***As you can see in the picture, it was actually "Ready to BREW" :)

Talented

Me: "I like your hair, Lizzy."
Lizzy: "Thanks. Red Auntie did it."
Me: "Well it looks very nice."
Lizzy: "You know Red Auntie. She is talented."

Job Opening

Lizzy: "Subway is hiring."
Me: "What are you trying to say? 
Lizzy: "I read it on that sign."
Me: "So, you want me to work at Subway?"
Lizzy: "No. I was thinking Lexi should get a job."

Random Act of Kindness

Last Night:
Lizzy: "I need to get up early tomorrow to make coffee for Mrs. Hart."
Me: "Um, why?"
Lizzy: "I just want to do something nice for her. And I asked her all kinds of questions. She likes coffee. Starbucks coffee. Do we have Starbucks coffee? And I need to make a little gift tag to put on her coffee cup."
Me, thinking she would forget by morning: "Um.. ok."

This Morning:
Lizzy: "Ok, so where's the coffee and a cup? And can we make the tag pink?"
Me: "You're really going to do this?"
Lizzy: "Yes. She's a great teacher. I want to say thank you."
Me, bursting with pride: "You know, I think this is called a 'Random Act of Kindness'.. you're doing something nice without being asked."

Walking into School:
Lizzy, carrying Mrs. Hart's coffee: "I just feel so good about myself right now!"

Proud Mom moment. Just when I think I'm not teaching my kids anything, and that they don't listen, they prove me wrong. So fun to see Lizzy present the coffee to her teacher, apologize that we didn't have Starbucks coffee, but it's Hawaiian instead, and watching her beam with pride that her teacher was thankful. 

Life with Lizzy is good!

Making the coffee

Lizzy's note :)

She's so excited to surprise her teacher!

The Meow News

Lizzy has to read a book to us every night (first grade is hard work!)
I love how she reads with so much expression - of course, she was reading in a very good newscaster voice.... until I started recording..... still cute though :)

Happy, Happy, Happy

I found this note on the kitchen counter today:

Not a baby

Me, after Lizzy gave me a high five: "Ouch!"

Lizzy, rolling her eyes: "You can't trick me with that stuff because I'm not a baby."

**Mom is officially no longer funny.

Road Rash

I told the girls last night that today was going to be a stay-at-home day because all the rummage sale traffic was giving me road rage. 

This was our conversation this morning:

Morgan: "Where we going?"
Me: "Nowhere."
Lizzy: "We are not going anywhere because Mom has road rash."

Corn Harvest

A few months ago, Lizzy came home from the zoo with a couple of kernels of corn in her pocket. Her dad told her to "plant" them in the rock garden in the front of the house, never thinking they would grow. 

Well guess what?

Lizzy's corn: July 17, 2013

They grew.

Lizzy's corn: August 5, 2013 (Jake is 5'4")

They actually grew really tall, and attracted a lot of attention from the neighbors, who are used to asking what the Kerzmans are doing now.

And they produced several ears of corn!

Lizzy's corn: September 4, 2013 (harvest day)

So, Lizzy decided the corn needed to be returned to the zoo.

We made arrangements to meet the zoo director and return the zoo's corn.

Lizzy  marched up to the admission office and announced: "Hi, I'm Lizzy. Terry is expecting me."

And he was...Terry, the zoo director, let the girls feed their corn to the animals, and even talked with them about what goats like to eat.

What a fun experience, and a lesson: don't bring corn home from the zoo!

Thanks to the Dakota Zoo for making Lizzy's day!

Start the day out right

Me: "We need to clean your room and the basement before we go anywhere today."
Lizzy: "Nooooo! Haven't you ever heard you're supposed to 'start the day out right'? That is NOT starting the day out right!"

Bad Hair

I got my hair cut this week -- it's pretty short. I've had my hair short before, but apparently not that Lizzy can remember.

Lizzy, hands on her hips, marching up to my hairstylist when she saw her outside school: "Why did you listen to my mom?"
My surprised hairstylist: "What do you mean?"
Lizzy: "I do NOT like her hair. Don't listen to her ever again!"

Sisterly Love

Lizzy, whispering in my ear while Jake was being crazy at the supper table: "Do I really have to live with him?"

Happy Thoughts

Lizzy, while I cleaned her sore, infected earring hole: "Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary!"
Me: "Why are you saying Mary? She's not here."
Lizzy: "You told me when something hurts I should think happy thoughts and not about how much it hurts. Mary makes me happy, so I'm thinking about Mary."

Single Forever

Lizzy came home from school with a new "trick" today. Check it out in this video:

Our conversation after I stopped recording:

Lizzy: "Just delete it."
Me: "Why?"
Lizzy: "Just do it."
Me: "I need to save this stuff for your wedding video."
Lizzy: "Well, in that case... I'm never getting married."

Tears

Lizzy, after we watched the movie, "The Odd Life of Timothy Green": "Wow. That was good. I have tears in my eyes even."

It was a pretty good show - and I even had a few tears. If you get the chance, watch it!

"Can't trick me"

Lizzy, impatiently waiting for a new game to download to my phone: "Is it ready yet?"
Me: "Nope. It says 'waiting'.. so that means be patient."
Lizzy, stealing the phone from my hand: "Oh really? It actually says 'loading'... you can't trick me. I can read."

A Photo Creeper

Me: "Squish together you guys. I want to take a picture of the three of you in the pool."
Lizzy, hanging out behind Jake and Morgan: "I'll be here. I want to be a photo creeper."

What a monkey looks like...

Lizzy, making the terrible face as seen in the picture below: "This is what a monkey looks like when it's threatened by a predator."

"I love my life!"

Lizzy, when I told her she could get two new pairs of shoes for school: "Wow! I love my life!"

Story Time with Lizzy

Welcome to story time with Lizzy.

I love that this girl can read, and that she enjoys reading. But I especially love how she reads with such emotion. She is changing words on the fly to make the book about her little sister, instead of the little brother it's really about. So smart. 

If you haven't read the book "Sophie Peterman Tells the Truth" here is an excerpt from Lizzy. You're going to want to read the entire book, I promise! Or even better, have Lizzy read the entire book to you :)

Nice Shirt

It's no secret Brad hates dressing up. His daily wardrobe is usually a gray t-shirt and jeans. When he gets "dressed up" he might wear sleeves or maybe even a shirt with buttons. Today he wore a shirt with buttons to church. Lizzy noticed.

Lizzy: "Wow Dad. This is actually a nice shirt. It's like the only one you even have."

Parking Lot Party

Lizzy, noticing a lot of activity in the Target parking lot: "What's going on over there?"
Me: "Must be a party or something."
Lizzy, singing in her best country twang: "Oh, like a 'Parking Lot Party' I bet."

Instagram: #lizzyism

I have fallen behind on my Lizzy-isms on this site. I've discovered it's easier to post them to Instagram (my new favorite social network!) I realize not all of you use Instagram, and I'd hate for you to miss out on any of Lizzy's antics. So I'm going to post them here... look out, this could be a long post!

Meantime, if you do use Instagram, search #lizzyism and you'll find more than 40 Lizzy-isms to make you smile :)

And on a related note, is it time to retire this blog and just use Instagram and Facebook to share Lizzy-isms? I've toyed with the idea.. but want to know what Lizzy's "fans" prefer!

Just in case you're looking for Lizzy.. she is not in :) #lizzyism

Dressed in their Sunday best for today's basketball games.
#lizzyism

Anyone else obsessed with Doc McStuffins? #lizzyism

Happy Monday! #lizzyism

There's a new, personalized cup in my bathroom. #lizzyism

Lizzy's new haircut. #lizzyism

Best birthday breakfast ever. #lizzyism

Lizzy made me birthday stickers. #lizzyism

Lizzy has been waiting for this day. #lizzyism

Taste tester. #lizzyism

Lizzy is already planning for her birthday. #lizzyism

Uh oh. Looks like Lizzy got Lexi's spelling ability! #lizzyism

Best friends. #lizzyism

Who says wrestling is for boys? #lizzyism

My place card for supper tonight. #lizzyism

I wish you could hear Lizzy giggling. #lizzyism 

"This feels like a play date. With a dog!" #lizzyism 

Apparently, Lizzy is planning a sleepover!
I found these on her craft table! #lizzyis

Lizzy's to-do list! #lizzyism

Next time you see this face it will be the face of a six year old!
I have loved five year old Lizzy and I think six year old
Lizzy is going to be even better! #lizzyism 

Lizzy, after hearing Bob struggle to catch his breath: "Is Bob
going to have a heart attack?" It probably won't be long :( #lizzyism

Ready for the last day of school. Popsicles all around! #lizzyism 

Lizzy wrote thank you notes for her teachers.
This one is obviously for her GYM teacher! #lizzyism

Giving Auntie Jess a tattoo. Lizzy: "Put this on Pinterest!" #lizzyism

Yes, I do think an exclamation point after
Lizzy's name is always appropriate. #lizzyism

After a long day of swimming, even Toby needs a hug. #lizzyism

Lizzy scrubbed the kitchen floor. I guess she
doesn't want us to walk on it! #lizzyism

Lizzy brought home a kernel of corn from the zoo and planted
 it in the front yard. Who knew it would grow?!?! #lizzyism

Finally... cucumbers from the garden! #lizzyism

No bake cookies and giggles on the front step
with this girl = perfect way to end the day. #lizzyism 

First tomato from Uncle John's tomato plants. Lizzy
says it was DELICIOUS. #lizzyism

Lizzy loves her newest cousin. #lizzyism

Lizzy: "We should live here. I could grow up
here. It's so beautiful." #lizzyism

Corn update. This is just ridiculous. Jake is 5'4". #lizzyism

Homemade banana bread for snack. I told her to look at me
for a picture. Lizzy's reply: "No way. I'm too busy eating!" #lizzyism